A retired friend sent me the following list. Since I know we can use all the humor we can get, I thought I’d share it with my readers. I hope you have a good chuckle or two!
1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear right until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted pay cheques.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify: ………’ I put “DOCTOR.”
13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
21. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Where there’s a will, there are relatives.
Please tell us your favorite or add your words of wisdom to the list. Also don’t forget to LIKE it on Facebook and share it with your friends. Thanks!