A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour. ~Author Unknown
Last week I shared 3 tips for happy retirment marriages. I learned them from the women I spoke with during my research for Survive Your Husband’s Retirement . They said that those steps were essential to adjusting to their new relationship with their husbands. They also told me of other measures for creating a happy retirement marriage that followed once they strengthened their empathy for one another.
Three important steps they shared are listen, laugh and hug. You might consider these—whether retired full-time, working part time or even still in the work world. The women I interviewed had a great deal of wisdom to share.
Don’t just hear the words your mate mutters, yells or talks. Consider the meaning behind the statement. Is he or she truly concerned about the situation of the moment, or is it a spin-off from something more troublesome? If you’re busy considering the other’s feelings, you may be so engaged in the conversation that you forget to interrupt your mate and truly hear the other person’s concerns. We move toward compromise once we understand another’s pain.
When my husband was first at home full time he used a kitchen counter for his computer and papers. I must confess, I complained bitterly despite the fact that the counter had been designed with that purpose in mind. In my mind, however, it was only for his use on the Wednesdays he sometimes worked from home before retiring. Otherwise it served as potential kitchen work space. Rather than analyzing the problem, I sputtered. It wasn’t until we listened to one another and determined that the only time I need this space is on the rare occasion I do some fancy cooking. He now moves his stuff from the area when that happens.
What’s not to like about laughing? It’s good for your health and reduces wrinkles. It also diminishes tension, and it’s so much easier to like a person when you can laugh with him or her.
I have a friend who insists that couples who hug regularly will weather all difficulties. Sometime ago I decided to research the actual benefits of this physical act and was so delighted by what I found that it seems worth repeating a few of them
- The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety.
- Hugs of 20 seconds or more elevate moods and create happiness.
- Hugs educate us on how love flows both ways.
- The energy exchange between people hugging encourages empathy and understanding.
How can you resist? Go ahead give it a try then tell us how you feel. You might also share this idea with a friend or post it on Facebook. Your friends will love you for it!