screen shot of a porpoises and its reflection in the bay's morning mist

Living together in harmony is like dancing together

Can we find harmony with our partners when Living Together in Retirement?

This picture speaks to me of  joy when living together in retirement. The porpoise, moving in unison with its shadow, looks as if it’s dancing and responding easily to a partner’s movements. That same cooperation can happen in a retirement relationship when we honor each other’s needs.

Living Together in Retirement

Let’s be honest though; living together in retirement isn’t always harmonious…no matter how much we like our spouse. There are times my husband Art will do something that infuriates me.  On another day I might not even notice the infraction. It may be that I had felt a need for time on my own or had made him the target of an unrelated irritation.   

Finding harmony in more togetherness requires patience as we strive to create necessary adjustments. When your life-partner first retires, you may wonder how you will deal with the changes. How will you cope with his or her sudden interest in knowing where you are going and when you’ll be back? You might be annoyed by suggestions on how things could be better organized at home or frustrated over belongings suddenly left around the house.

You want your own space and you want some alone time, but that’s not happening! How do we learn to handle those differences?

Planning for harmony

When possible, it’s best to have discussed much of your concerns before retirement days become reality. However, if retirement came suddenly or unexpected issues come up, those important discussions don’t happen. Still, it’s never too late to make a commitment to understand one another’s needs and foster peace in a relationship.

Why not start today to ask yourself some essential questions? How can you make retirement life even better? What bothers you about retirement life together? What do you think bothers your partner about this life style? What are you willing to do to make changes and return (or bring) compatibility to the relationship? Are you willing to make the effort? What sort of outcomes do you hope for? What outcomes do you believe your mate would desire?

Questions like this helped Art and me have honest conversations during our initial adjustment period. We began to realize what was necessary for us to enjoy this new found togetherness. Sharing the good and bad effects each of us had on our shared retirement helped us replace stress with harmony.

The real secret to living together in retirement happily

Creating harmony when living together in retirement is all about learning to dance together without losing sight of each person’s needs.

How will you dance with your life partner?

A special thank you to Catherine Calvetti for her pictures and the inspiration to enjoy nature at its most beautiful.  I hope you will look at and enjoy her inspiring photography. Will you share which pictures inspire you and why?

Thank you for forwarding these thoughts on Facebook and other Social Media. And please, share your thoughts below on how you create harmony when living together in retirement.