I once got so angry that I slammed my foot hard enough to hurt my back. It hurt for weeks and I found myself wondering what good I had accomplished in such a hissy fit. It didn’t change the behavior of the person I wanted to slay and it certainly didn’t make me feel any better.
I may have been justified in protesting this person’s action, but truthfully, I don’t even remember the trigger. It did, however, demonstrate that my anger hurts me a lot more than it hurts anyone else and that I need to direct it in a more productive manner.
The first thing I realized was that it would be more helpful to understand what was making me upset. Why did something bother me so much and why did it matter to me so much? The questioning helped me remove myself from the situation––for at least a moment––while considering the needs of the person who sparked the anger.
Excellent advice on how to do this comes from Dr. Margaret Paul, Author, Counselor/Therapist and Marriage Educator. She points out in her free download, Dear God, How Can I Heal So That I May Live? that to end one’s anger over something, one must make healing more important than having control over others. If you’re living with a particularly angry person, you can take the first step and not let this person control your emotions or well-being.
“Easier said than done,” you might say. If you’d like help doing that, you might check out Dr. Paul’s blogs on how Inner Bonding can help you love yourself so you can love this angry person––even when you find him or her challenging.
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