Compromise: the secret to happiness in retirement
For close to ten years, I’ve been writing and teaching about creating happiness in retirement. A most important premise of my writing has been that a happy retirement requires important adjustments. Recently, however, I noticed that my current blogs talk more about the concerns of long time retirees. While worthwhile, it seems I have abandoned my original intent of helping individuals adjust to this life stage. In light of that, I’m updating older posts for newly retired readers. If you have already been through the retirement adjustment stage, you might share these thoughts with your recently retired friends. You could help them adjust to the joys of retirement more quickly. Or you could just read the comments and think, “Thank the heavens that’s over!”
Creating Happiness in Retirement
Couples best achieve the dream of a happy retirement when there is agreement on how you will live your lives together. 2017-03-30/10-tips-to-help-your-marriage-survive-retirement It doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. It just means that what you choose to do doesn’t harm your life partner.
If you want to travel, and your mate won’t fly, how do you resolve the difference? What if you live in a small condo and want to sleep in, but he’s up at 5 AM––what’s the solution? He wants to go out to dinner every evening, and you worry about the expense, how do you handle it? Worst of all…he’s become grumpy in retirement, and you’re not sure how to respond
There are no right or wrong solutions to any of any of the situations you may experience as newly retirees. However, for most couples, an important factor for living in harmony is an awareness that we are loved and are loving.
What does it mean for you to feel loved, and what do you do to show your loving concern for your partner? How do you react when you feel loved––are you more generous, more kind, more patient? Does feeling loved make you more loving?
These are important questions for all newly retired couples. From everything I have learned and experienced, early retirement requires a good deal of compromise. Equally important is that compromise comes more easily when we care about the person with whom we must compromise.
When are we happiest?
A happy and fulfilling retirement means different things to different people. For you, it may mean transitioning from a full-time career into meaningful part-time work. Or perhaps you envision spending more time with family, starting a garden or making regular visits to the golf course. Most of all however, there’s “strong evidence to support that a positive spouse/partner relationship is most important for retirement satisfaction.
I hope you’ll go to the Comments section and share your thoughts. You could feel better just expressing them, and you could also help others discover loving qualities in their lives.
Next: Developing a spirit of compromise.